It was a hot day and her AC was out, but Irene didn’t bother with it. These days, she couldn’t be bothered by much. She had an idle routine, quilting and stitching until the tips of her fingers split. She never really worried about that either, just taped them up and kept working. Day in, day out. Every Thursday morning at noon she would go to a little shop in town and drop off some quilts to get a little spending money for the usual: coffee, toast, thread.

This Thursday was different. The sun was scorching. She could feel the sweat drip down her neck when she walked out the door. Nathan’s truck was pulling up her driveway. She figured he might show up, but she didn’t want to see him. He slammed the door to his truck shut.

“Really Irene? You’re just going to leave the papers in my mailbox? Can’t even knock on the door?”

“I didn’t want to see you.” She said.
“Of course you didn’t. But come on, Irene. Can we really not even talk about this?”

“What is there for us to talk about?”

“Everything! You’ve been avoiding me, avoiding the grief meetings. Do you really not have anything to say?”

“Just go, Nathan.” Irene tried to get to her car, but Nathan’s truck was blocking her way out. Nathan sighed.

“I miss him too. I miss him like hell, you have no idea.” Tears were forming in Nathan’s eyes. Tears were forming in Irene’s eyes too, but she had the better sense to try to hide them.

“I have no idea? He was my son too, Nathan! I know exactly what it feels like.” She snapped.

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Then how did you mean it? He was my boy, my sweet boy, and I don’t have him anymore!”

“I know you think it’s my fault, I know you blame me for it-”

“Of course I do! It was your fault! You were driving the damn car, Nathan!”

“I had the light! They didn’t! Irene, they blew through the light, there wasn’t anything I could’ve done!” Nathan said. Irene shoved him, hit him, screamed at him. She could feel herself falling apart, splitting at the seams like an old quilt.

“He should’ve been in his car seat! He should’ve been wearing a seatbelt! He shouldn’t have been sitting in the passenger seat, all alone, like the pinball in an arcade game! It is your fault, you killed my boy!”

“Babe, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I love you, I need you, please, I can’t do this alone. I miss you, Irene. I miss my wife.” Nathan cried.

“I miss my son.” Irene said, stepping away from him. Nathan made an attempt to reach for her again, but she pushed him away.

“Just sign the fucking papers and get out of here.” She said. Nathan wiped his face and nodded. He didn’t say anything else, didn’t even look at her when he left. Irene watched him drive away through the clouds of dirt his truck kicked up, until he was finally gone.